place
of

worship

i.

in my dreams there is a man shaped
like you made out of a lifetime
daylight collection preserved
on my retina. a supernova of images

i have felt pleasure and disdain
in seeing, all imprinted on your glamorized
body. homemade altars, the underwater
of a baptist’s pool, the dawn convalescing

after an endless night of envisioning
you, an infinite
and versatile form. i find everything
in you; i find you in everything.

ii.

original lyrics — sun bleached flies by ethel cain

Sun bleached flies sitting in the windowsill / Waiting for the day they escape / They talk all about that money and how their babies are always changing while they're breathing in the poison of the paint / What I wouldn't give to be in Church this Sunday / Listening to the choir, so heartfelt, all singing / God loves you, but not enough to save you / So, baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself / So I said fine, 'cause that's how my daddy raised me / If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard / But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me / Then this heart would break and fall as twice as far / We all know how it goes / The more it hurts, the less it shows / But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I can never go back home / And I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines / And God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fight / But I don't mind 'cause that's how my daddy raised me / If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard / But I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me / So I just prayed and I keep praying and praying and praying / If it's meant to be then it will be / So I met Him there and told him I believe / Singing if it's meant to be then it will be / I forgive it all as it comes back to me / If it's meant to be then it will be / So I met him there and told Him I believe / Singing if it's meant to be then it'll be / I forgive it all as it comes back to me / If it's meant to be then it'll be / So I met him there and told him I believe / Singing if it's meant to be then it will be / I forgive it all as it comes back to me / I'm still praying for that house in Nebraska / By the highway, out on the edge of town / Dancing with the windows open / I can't let go when something's broken / It's all I know and it's all I want now

iii.

Knelt against the chancel’s edge,

i let Your presence wash over

my bare skin. The beams, stained

as they pass through the windows,

bathe me in a kaleidoscope fashioned

out of hues You hand-selected:

lavenders navies magentas and gold—

gold so vibrant the conquerors would send

armies to retrieve me. i am Yours, my half-

Man, half-God. Won’t You take me

wherever faith leads, or will You

desert me right here, at your feet?

photography and digital design, Josh Chen
photo assist, Nguyen Tran
words, Brendan Le

music, Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain